Charlie (a place called not me)

(1)

Charlie

i am in the business/of placement

(Charlie coughs as three soldiers walk by)

i ask them to make some valentine chocolates to sell on the frontline

they laugh:

then they stop/Charlie’s eyes fall a little bit/potted pansies yield themselves to the/   space   /

‘a place called not me’

:it is thusly referred to/because if flowers aren’t self aware/well they told me there would be no sun/Charlie bites down on lip/i stare

down…

my eyes exactly horizontal/to the surface of my coffee/the bubbles puckering the surface/like

like an old photograph in a fire

two old ladies bitch about us quietly/sipping their coke zeros through straws/their kept stares never

ceasing…(not ever)

(2)

…well then…

Charlie took the sugar from the jar/and emptied it into his cheeks/holding it:

there

waiting for it to slowly dissolve

(Charlie’s eyes watered)/tongue twisting/the pansies yield further/into

‘a place called not me’

then

(3)

and then

(Charlie tries to become a planet)

turning a sugar filled head 360 degrees to the RIGHT!/and twists it straight off with a:

POP!

red billows like a sheet on the clothes line (like the ones i used to make houses with when i was)

small

and the old ladies chatter like/serves you right/and that’s when Charlie says to me:

this sugar tastes like cheep gold

and I’m still not a god help me

/i cast a cold stare down and say/

do you remember what I told you:

ghosts go to the sun and come back golden/that’s why all the houses in the hills at night/seem so fucking lonely

…during the day

they reside in the sugar jars of over priced cafés/and/

in the coke zeros of old ladies

and i can safely say/that YOU…………………………………………………………………are my most favourite kind of colour

…but i won’t put you back together…

i stood and the sky caved into Charlie’s head

(filling it with space

and empty blue)

(4)

…and i leached out the red

from charlie’s body

to make jam for my toast…

in the morning i could see Charlie rising

a ghost of gold and blue

to stare down exactly horizontal

to us

as i renamed it

‘a place called not me’

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Charlie (a place called not me)

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