on seeing

on seeing, the ground did not immediately

fall,     away

on seeing, it remained still and green

and grass

sway

the sky remained ribbed and

picture

on seeing, the sky was so

blue with the

calm ache

of your your back

to me

of indifference

on seeing, boy you

stretch hands like

you once did on

my lap

you walk with weapons

on seeing, this does not

matter                    , to walk to

own hands

(your hands)

which lingered where they

shouldn’t

on seeing, everything is still

on seeing,     you walk

away from me,

the crime

scene.

and i sit, with the place where

it happened     , wishing

i could

like you

just simply,     walk away

on seeing,         i am the calm

blue ache,

of a body              , invaded.

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on seeing

Downfall

i want to say that i’m sorry

but i’m not

i want to say i’m sorry

but i’m not

red red red

speak in a tongue of night, (this isn’t really speech or language, we are just playing pretend, as usual)

like for example; favourite book, favourite album, favourite poem/poet/book of poetry ever

sometimes, i would skip stones across the grey matter,

just to see what exactly, mattered (if at all)

but that was when i didn’t even have a chance

red red blue red red red red red white (actually it’s cream dumbass)

two nights spent in the dark.

i didn’t really know what happened till three weeks later

then i knew, i’ve been watching french lesbian flicks, they’re hilarious,

but i can’t help notice that

I HAVE THIS FRIEND

WHO CAN PREDICT THE

FUTURE IT’S VERY

UNNERVING SEE SHE

TELLS ME THINGS AND

I BRUSH THEM OFF

CASUALLY THEN THEY

TURN OUT TO BE TRUE

see she told me that, the only stories about queer women, are stories about, their downfall…

i didn’t want it to be true, but i think it might be, and now i wonder

if somebody gave us the desire, to fall, in love, and burn everything

to the ground

in the dark, you filled my body with fire, like a furnace, and i coughed up ash, and wreckage, but didn’t care for tragedy, so i lent my head out the window and said i will re-write this story,

but then you twisted my head, to face yours, and said

but this is what i want 

the red the red the red and all the blue you have to paint

Downfall