Tourist

and that night, she grated her face upon a palm tree

cause mama pays special heed to splinters and spines

stumbles on a bus home

gets on for free, takes lots of pictures

imagines she could kill the world over, and over, and over, like turning

soil and replanting

and that night, she lied about everything

she imagines she could lie herself to a different place

stumbles back on pavement, wonders what a car feels like

if it could take her to space.

to ocean. and that night, she knows you are following her

and that night, she screams at traffic lights,

because she knows she’s gonna die

and that night, she just says hurry, hurry, hurry

get it over with, i’m tired of the slow creeping

just fucking split me open to bitumen, bleed me out,

try and love me with your choker hold,

try not to love me at all, try not love making corpses out of me

and that night, she watches boys in the distance

playing football under stage lights

remembers running for her life

being taught

to love, being hated

 

 

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Tourist

lollipop lady

a thick arm or two leaned on and out of car door windows

and told her to purr like a kitten, so maybe she taught herself

the lollipop lady, sweet as anything, like ferry to the other side

keep your loose change in your shoes, she purrs like an engine

why lollipop? says short stuff on the kerbside one day, kicking

sour peaches. cause all of them are sweet i suppose, but maybe 

it’s the shape. short stuff picks up another, sour peach, hurls it

at the boy who stole her loose change, knocks him off of bike

down street rolling like her laughter out her belly. she laughs

like a sour old man and purrs for the lollipop lady. for a long time,

though it would get her, sweets, treats and sugar things. it doesn’t.

lollipop lady

roadsidekillings

laying in the strip of grass
roadside
a body sunken
the corpse of a possum struck from the
sky, now flat and resting
settling in for the long sleep
it’s exciting when they change the ad posters
at the bus stops
in this suburb
makes you feel less
deserted
neighborhoods have a funny way of
doing that
they hold you so close and tight
you begin quickly
to feel isolated
nobody really lives here
they are all pretending
to be wives, to be husbands, to be daughters, to be sons, and dogs, and old couples across the street
when I pretend, i pretend to be dead

roadsidekillings

when i was small i did not have friends i had flowers and plants

the hardware store was like a kingdom with all of that stretching up

WAREHOUSE

i was afraid of god and kings

tiny feet would find themselves outside with the plants

PLEASE CAN I GET A ROSE DAD I PROMISE TO WATER IT EVERY SINGLE DAY I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE

my fathers eyes are like a graveyard

no

PLEASE I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT

he picks it up and gives it to me, buys a small watering can

in the car ride home i hold the rose close

WE ALL REMEMBER BEING TAUGHT ABOUT CARBON DIOXIDE AND PHOTOSYNTHESIS BY THAT TEACHER WHO HATED US

holding fast and close i breathe out towards the rose, my sister asks what i am doing

giving the rose some carbon dioxide

what i should have said was

trying desperately to form a symbiotic relationship with the plant so if i kill it by accident i will die too and learn my lesson

the rose died within a week

when i was small i did not have friends i had flowers and plants

Landscape: Oil

START OF LANDSCAPE

purple wall/opal tower/oil oil oil/open/Butterfield/

oodles of sickanddying people/skincentre/adult emergency/this way/whitelacecroptops/manwithatinselponytail/adult-store (aesthetic similar to a fastfood joint)/

Gipps/0430 12 7776/

tiny china/curled wire fence (to stop people jumping off the bridge)/follow/60/European town houses/private schools right?/yeah they’ve got a rowing club/dead person/fish (for eating)/(actually they’re pretty models)/services/IAMPERFECTTIMING/337JIY/

handsfree/bulletholes (fake)with ‘such is life’ ingothiclettering/

Waldo/Hawthorne/Conventry/Dover/lots of more dead people (cept in boxes)/500/

(at least)

END OF LANDSCAPE

Landscape: Oil

Landscape: we can help!

START OF LANDSCAPE

sneakers stung up on the skyline/018ASE/Days/185/thomas/
WRIGHT PROPERTY/3352 4455/we can help!/dryan.com /Evenlyn/Stevenson/123/2-56/86/
OTTO (what  utter  trash)
wooden spoon/jigsaw puzzle car with top hat passengers/

no pos(t)ers/angry stoner in green van/roadside assist/pink/white/
yellow/

c9932/cicada’s (not Japanese ones)/

THREELETTERARRANGEMENTSINAROWTHATALMOSTMADESIGNIFIERS/
RIVER1 (personalised plate)/pink pink pink/three shades/give (a)way/

stupid white boy backs up (in stupid ute)

…trampoline (in skeletal form)…

END OF LANDSCAPE

Landscape: we can help!