Tourist

and that night, she grated her face upon a palm tree

cause mama pays special heed to splinters and spines

stumbles on a bus home

gets on for free, takes lots of pictures

imagines she could kill the world over, and over, and over, like turning

soil and replanting

and that night, she lied about everything

she imagines she could lie herself to a different place

stumbles back on pavement, wonders what a car feels like

if it could take her to space.

to ocean. and that night, she knows you are following her

and that night, she screams at traffic lights,

because she knows she’s gonna die

and that night, she just says hurry, hurry, hurry

get it over with, i’m tired of the slow creeping

just fucking split me open to bitumen, bleed me out,

try and love me with your choker hold,

try not to love me at all, try not love making corpses out of me

and that night, she watches boys in the distance

playing football under stage lights

remembers running for her life

being taught

to love, being hated

 

 

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Tourist

lollipop lady

a thick arm or two leaned on and out of car door windows

and told her to purr like a kitten, so maybe she taught herself

the lollipop lady, sweet as anything, like ferry to the other side

keep your loose change in your shoes, she purrs like an engine

why lollipop? says short stuff on the kerbside one day, kicking

sour peaches. cause all of them are sweet i suppose, but maybe 

it’s the shape. short stuff picks up another, sour peach, hurls it

at the boy who stole her loose change, knocks him off of bike

down street rolling like her laughter out her belly. she laughs

like a sour old man and purrs for the lollipop lady. for a long time,

though it would get her, sweets, treats and sugar things. it doesn’t.

lollipop lady

when i was small i did not have friends i had flowers and plants

the hardware store was like a kingdom with all of that stretching up

WAREHOUSE

i was afraid of god and kings

tiny feet would find themselves outside with the plants

PLEASE CAN I GET A ROSE DAD I PROMISE TO WATER IT EVERY SINGLE DAY I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE

my fathers eyes are like a graveyard

no

PLEASE I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT

he picks it up and gives it to me, buys a small watering can

in the car ride home i hold the rose close

WE ALL REMEMBER BEING TAUGHT ABOUT CARBON DIOXIDE AND PHOTOSYNTHESIS BY THAT TEACHER WHO HATED US

holding fast and close i breathe out towards the rose, my sister asks what i am doing

giving the rose some carbon dioxide

what i should have said was

trying desperately to form a symbiotic relationship with the plant so if i kill it by accident i will die too and learn my lesson

the rose died within a week

when i was small i did not have friends i had flowers and plants

September with DeadRed

in September we spoke about red riding hood

about the stories we tell little girls

to make them afraid of the woods

isn’t it funny how she dresses

like shes already been

murdered

she dresses like she’s covered in

blood

maybe

she already is dead

in September i go to a poetry reading by myself

a man stands at the microphone

and tells us that

it isn’t the wolf’s fault

that little red riding hood should have

cried !WOLF!

men and wolves don’t know anything 

why would she cry wolf?

when she was raised by them???

 

September with DeadRed

Assumptions about spaces

Assumption 1: girl
Notes
There is a horrific cry from within the walls of the small bedroom. Indeed , as usual it says that everything is disappearing very quickly yet the walls crawl, enter and occupy its small ears.

Assumption 2: her anger has no gravity
Notes
Always appears to rip itself limb from limb- dislikes wallpaper and furnishings. Gets red in the face and makes a lot of noise. Tries to convince us it is wild fire.

Assumption 3: boy (only in the event of the denial of assumption 1)
Notes
Will at once discontinue being homely and will become an occupant of space (instead of space itself).

Assumptions about spaces

Pinocchio is confused about asexuals and hermaphrodites

…but most of all pinocchio was \confused\ by snails

,and slugs…

…what do you mean they are \hermaphrodites\

what do you mean they are \asexual\…

pinocchio thinks back to picture books \\with;

\\pinkshelled girlsnails\blueshelled boysnails\\

this principle is

APPLIED to (most) things in picture books…pinocchio had had a pet snail

;called…Murphy

he spoke about the whole thing with the mice

but they go \confused\ aaaaaaand

ran away.

Pinocchio is confused about asexuals and hermaphrodites