i can’t explain
i just wanted to cry
and you wanted a cigarette.
that’s when tears started
it gave me shivers
my whole body moved
we laugh because they are funny.
later. the river looks so dark
leaping a little far into
from the rain
we talk about floods.
as the red light curls
with the gold
you’ve never seen it from this side.
only the water seems shiny
everything else has lost its luster
better when it wasn’t legal
better when it was free
i told you already that it was shit
i told you already that it was fine
once we’ve reached queen st
just on feet.
we close our eyes to the blaze
right. this is a shopping mall
sliver woman with no vagina
(i know cause i checked)
(you know cause i told you)
do the lights turn off?
do the manikins ever see the dark?
are they always bathed in white light
and does that make them angels
who is light like this for
at 3 in the morning.
at the last bar, they serve me
but you’re the only one complaining.
we drank Tanqueray when it wasn’t legal
we’ve got better tastes
…one day pinocchio \asks me\?
where he came from
so I gave him a \\knife\\
\\wood glue\\ and
((I TOLD HIM TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR HIMSELF))
the priests make \too many; mistakes
but perhaps it is simply
((CRUEL))to talk of – genisis – \as if it was\
as if god did not
CUT THE SKY out of his eyes
the sea OUT OF HIS THROAT
as if light \\WASN’T\\BLOOD!
as if he wasn’t just afraid of the empty…
…so it was that pinocchio begun to
;grow yew trees
;chop and prepare them for the wood glue
;attach them to empty spots
\\for the days\\that pinocchio
had hacked too much away
its very hard to speak when?
your mouth is full of light
open wide and say
I CANT SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE THE LIGHT COMES FROM ME AND IT HURTS LIKE PULLING OUT SPLINTERS
the dentist laughs and puts that thing in your mouth that sucks (a black hole)
then he mumbles
you’ve some nasty green aurora stuck in your front teeth
he scraps with the scraping thing
you have some solar flares growing on your gums, but some bonjela should fix that up in no time
he pauses, his hands still
and looks your wisdom teeth are about ready to pull out
he laughs to himself
its finally happening
all of you struggles and shines but hands come in their thousands/hold your mouth open
nobody cares if they are blind///he reaches inside///angles the man-made for leverage///pulls and there is a pop pop pop///you turn to burning other and they scream///the dentist pulling away with the prize of man///then suddenly they all leave and with them the light from your eyes
the rest of your teeth are afraid; they burrow back into your skull till they pop out the other side, and shine shine shine out the back of your mind.
the darkness is brimming
the darkness is so total
YOU SPIN AND SPIN LIKE A LIGHTHOUSE, TO BREAK IT WIDE OPEN
(AKA, a star)
she asks me if i want to see the fireworks
the ones at midnight
her and her boyfriend are going
i don’t respond
a few hours later
she tells me a few more people are going
and the guy who said that he could use god to save me from my gayness
i don’t respond
there is a line it goes so straight so steady
i can’t travel with alcohol so what’s the point
after work i buy six packets of sparklers
i’ll use them for something
i fill my ears with music that pops and fizzed and makes me feel more gay
Jack Colwell and the B52s does the trick
the year is at peak critical mass
i can feel it my throat
last night i dreamt about the rapist
i shut a door
and it all floods in like
can’t i just die here
in this year
i want to occupy this space
for a little longer
i rip open the sparkler boxes
i hold all 72 in my mouth at once and i don’t need a match all of me goes
LIGHT AND I BURN
LIKE A FIREWORK THAT
GETS STUCK ON THE GROUND
AND GOES OUT!OUT!OUT!