laying in the strip of grass
roadside
a body sunken
the corpse of a possum struck from the
sky, now flat and resting
settling in for the long sleep
it’s exciting when they change the ad posters
at the bus stops
in this suburb
makes you feel less
deserted
neighborhoods have a funny way of
doing that
they hold you so close and tight
you begin quickly
to feel isolated
nobody really lives here
they are all pretending
to be wives, to be husbands, to be daughters, to be sons, and dogs, and old couples across the street
when I pretend, i pretend to be dead
Month: January 2016
Angel: (1)
when i was a child/an angel fell into my bedroom/covered in eyes/
i din’t know anything about blood/beauty or/isolation/
but i knew about keeping birds/i took my scissors and/clipped all six of its/
wings
angel made no sound at all/all it did was stare with its body of eyes/
i had a very strong feeling that it/was trying to peel itself open/
such a desire to be flat and thin like paper/
Recollection (Gag-Reel)
the first real recollection/is in the bed
i don’t really remember back any further/your breath was like sour medicine
(except it wasn’t medicine)
the next taste, was vomit, my stomach bulged over the top of my trousers,
the second recollection/is setting the gin on the bedside table
…i don’t feel so good…
the third recollection/is the light and the questions/because
you can’t stop now
shaking my head and saying i’m fine
your brain was once really interesting to me/but everything (the whole world)became a little more/sad, when you said,
if your stomach is bothering you i’ll show you how to activate your gag reflex, once you vomit you’ll feel better,
once you vomit you can finish that drink
the fourth recollection/is the numbing fear, filling my chest, like drowning, like why would you say that
in the dark i found the ocean and tried to drown myself because you are the kind of people i fall in love with all the time
sun god
its very hard to speak when?
your mouth is full of light
open wide and say
I CANT SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE THE LIGHT COMES FROM ME AND IT HURTS LIKE PULLING OUT SPLINTERS
the dentist laughs and puts that thing in your mouth that sucks (a black hole)
then he mumbles
you’ve some nasty green aurora stuck in your front teeth
he scraps with the scraping thing
you have some solar flares growing on your gums, but some bonjela should fix that up in no time
he pauses, his hands still
and looks your wisdom teeth are about ready to pull out
he laughs to himself
its finally happening
all of you struggles and shines but hands come in their thousands/hold your mouth open
nobody cares if they are blind///he reaches inside///angles the man-made for leverage///pulls and there is a pop pop pop///you turn to burning other and they scream///the dentist pulling away with the prize of man///then suddenly they all leave and with them the light from your eyes
the rest of your teeth are afraid; they burrow back into your skull till they pop out the other side, and shine shine shine out the back of your mind.
the darkness is brimming
the darkness is so total
YOU SPIN AND SPIN LIKE A LIGHTHOUSE, TO BREAK IT WIDE OPEN
(AKA, a star)
when i was small i did not have friends i had flowers and plants
the hardware store was like a kingdom with all of that stretching up
WAREHOUSE
i was afraid of god and kings
tiny feet would find themselves outside with the plants
PLEASE CAN I GET A ROSE DAD I PROMISE TO WATER IT EVERY SINGLE DAY I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE
my fathers eyes are like a graveyard
no
PLEASE I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT
he picks it up and gives it to me, buys a small watering can
in the car ride home i hold the rose close
WE ALL REMEMBER BEING TAUGHT ABOUT CARBON DIOXIDE AND PHOTOSYNTHESIS BY THAT TEACHER WHO HATED US
holding fast and close i breathe out towards the rose, my sister asks what i am doing
giving the rose some carbon dioxide
what i should have said was
trying desperately to form a symbiotic relationship with the plant so if i kill it by accident i will die too and learn my lesson
the rose died within a week
queen/drama
over the phone is easiest/my mother always said i would make a good actor
my eyes rest easily on the floor/my mother always said i went crazy when people visited
i say yes, i would love to meet you today/my mother always said i was a drama queen
BUT ALONE I HOLD THE SILENCE BETWEEN MY EVER PARTING LIPS
MY MOUTH OPENS SO WIDE I TURN INSIDE OUT THAT IS WHAT WE CALL PANIC
MY HANDS FUMBLE IN THE BATHROOM CUPBOARDS AND FIND THE REMEDY
i paint my lips with deep red blood/my mother caught me once trying to be a lion
the only difference is that now, i feel obliged/said i would fool the world
you only visit me in my dreams, where i can’t beat the daylights out of you
why is it that when
sun dips
into dark ponds
i let you back into my bed
with no recall
of the damage that
you caused
i don’t want to die young
i don’t want to die
sunless
in the dark
every night
you slowly remove my vertebrae
smiling
laughing
//i wake up paralyzed//
Line/Lone
the moment is unclear to all but the sand
upon which the line was drawn
the silver outline in/the dark
1am in the morning
the fans wurrr intensity towards it
beer feels like nothing at all but bitter
the dark heaves itself a little
places a plastic bag over your head and says
breathe
you breathe deep/and close your eyes
plastic hugs your face
tender
that’s when the dark disappears/and you see the wurrr wurrr/sand is disturbed flying
FROM UNDER YOUR SHIFTING LEGS
breathe
CLOSER
civilization holds your face
TENDER
breathe
the sand is numb/poison was always this easy
breathe
slowly choke yourself to death
THE DARK SLIDES INSIDE YOUR CHEST AND SAYS!
FLY
LIKE SON OF INVENTORS
LIKE SAND
LIKE DUST
LIKE LOST MOMENTS
the lines the lines the lines the lines the lines the lines the lines the lines the lines the lines the lines and the lone
September with DeadRed
in September we spoke about red riding hood
about the stories we tell little girls
to make them afraid of the woods
isn’t it funny how she dresses
like shes already been
murdered
she dresses like she’s covered in
blood
maybe
she already is dead
in September i go to a poetry reading by myself
a man stands at the microphone
and tells us that
it isn’t the wolf’s fault
that little red riding hood should have
cried !WOLF!
men and wolves don’t know anything
why would she cry wolf?
when she was raised by them???
Assumptions about spaces
Assumption 1: girl
Notes
There is a horrific cry from within the walls of the small bedroom. Indeed , as usual it says that everything is disappearing very quickly yet the walls crawl, enter and occupy its small ears.
Assumption 2: her anger has no gravity
Notes
Always appears to rip itself limb from limb- dislikes wallpaper and furnishings. Gets red in the face and makes a lot of noise. Tries to convince us it is wild fire.
Assumption 3: boy (only in the event of the denial of assumption 1)
Notes
Will at once discontinue being homely and will become an occupant of space (instead of space itself).
sleeping in the siege 